Kyle (from Carpenter's Tool) tagged at Desiree's blog! It means that he must've seen all those fangirlish things she said about him! I know it's bad, but--- HahaAhaHahahAhaHahaA

It's strange how some Americans can actually miss Singapore. Isn't Singapore supposed to be a terrifically boring place? ('Supposed' being the operative word) Even Singaporeans themselves are terrifically bored of it.

Actually, our country is not without beauty. The clean and orderly streets, the tall and straight buildings, the rows of neat and even trees... they have a sort of geometric beauty about them. It's like a high-quality crystal. What we value in crystals are orderly structures and flawlessness. Singapore is like a sparkling diamond that has been cut and polished to perfection.

So why do people like diamonds and not Singapore?

I was on the bus one day, and there was a passenger who... well, didn't have her faculties intact.

It creeped me out, not because I discriminate against such people, but because I suddenly had the idea that I might be a Woodbridge patient who's having delusions about reality.

And I'd never be able to know that I'm mad, because my perception of logic could be warped.

Scary.

It led me to think; don't mental patients have their own sense of logic too? However, according to the consensus theory, their 'logic' fails them completely.

What if we're actually mental patients, strapped up in tight straitsjackets and being spoonfed by (pretty) nurses, who shake their heads in exasperation each time we try to exercise our 'logic'?

Hence, there is a logical possibility that logic is wrong.

How ironic.

And how... disconcerting.

At today's KI Symposium, the presenter asked, 'What made you believe in your religion?'

I had nothing to say.

It's not that I don't believe in Christianity (which, by the way, is not a religion), or that I don't know what made me believe. It's not that I don't know any scientific arguments that support Christianity.

It's just that suddenly, I'm tired of science. I'm tired of the kind of justification that society wants.

Also, I'm starting to wonder if we always have to use rational judgement. Are our emotions and gut instincts necessarily useless? Must we deny the things that distinguish us from robots and computers?

Then someone said, 'Take this chance to practise shouting and defend your own religion.'

Somehow, the word 'defend' did not appeal to me.

Are religions nothing more than glorified cliques, fighting for power and dominance over the people?

In one of her books, Agatha Christie said something along the lines of 'The worst thing that can happen to a woman is to be plain' (or ugly, like me).

Sad, but true. If you look from society's point of view, of course.

Society does not respect females, least of all unattractive females.

It does disastrous things to the female's confidence. When the seat beside her is empty, she wonders if her looks have frightened her fellow commuters off. When she hears laughter, she wonders if people are ridiculing her appearance. She is terrified when people lean in too close to her, for she does not want them to get a better view of her face. She feels unworthy to be in the presence of people, thus she meekly accepts what has been doled out to her, not daring to fight for her happiness...

Shall continue this another day, when I have a better grasp of my thoughts.

How difficult it is to be deaf to music! A masterpiece and the rowdiness of a market place are no different to you. Whenever you pass by the piano, its music cannot distinguish itself from the background sounds of daily activities. As you run your fingers along the piano keys, as you strum the steel strings of a guitar, the feel of these music instruments are both cold and foreign to you. You cannot bring these inanimate things into life, nor can you rescue them from their silent world of uselessness.

What a grim life the non musically-inclined lead! As your friends chatter about popular bands and singers, you find yourself temporarily pushed out of the clique. When majority of the school is enthusiastically supporting music concerts, you are sitting alone in your quiet home. Because music is the only art form most people appreciate, you have no faculties to impress, to inspire, and to touch the hearts of the masses. You, your dreams, your ideas, all remain trapped in a shadowed world, of which you are one of the few sentient beings.

Not exactly sure why I wrote this. Sounds poetic though, and poetry is the only thing I can 'hear', probably because its silent sounds are not heard by one's physical ears, but the ears of one's mind.