Think God is trying to tell me not to be so cynical about people and life.

In the anime Gunslinger Girl, Rico said, 'I don't know the background behind the art pieces, but whenever i look at them, i feel really moved inside.'

In the manga (from which the anime is derived), she said, 'I don't understand the more difficult things, but when i look at sculptures or paintings, i get the chills.'

lol.

Some of the visitors to my blog are making it difficult, if not impossible, for me to post honestly.

This is after reading someone's blog, the contents of which shall not be revealed because some of the people involved visit this blog.

It's true that people look down on you if you don't do the 'sophisticated and intellectual' stuff, such as reading award-winning books, quoting philosophers, giving logic dominance over your feelings, etc.

But sometimes i wonder if it should be the reverse. 'Cause some of these people are trying too hard to be intellectual by doing things that are commonly thought of as intellectual. It makes you think that they are just trying to be seen as intellectual by fitting into society's perception of the intellectual. Which isn't very intellectual.

Of course, not everyone who does these things are pseudo-intellectuals.

P.S. Forgot to mention that i'm one of these pseudo-intellectuals. Trying not to be, but wasn't born very smart or nice, so...

With adults pointing to scholars on tv and demanding straight As, teachers shouting at us for not doing well in common tests, and peers making study plans ( or, in my stress-addled mind, evil plots to trample all competition into the dust), i kept having attractive images of a knife dripping with blood --- my blood --- lying next to a note that says 'See what you all have done.'

Then i remembered this chapter in Our Daily Bread that tells the story of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, a Russian author who was sent to a Siberian prison for criticizing communism. Due to its intolerable conditions, he decided to end his life by compelling a guard to shoot him. As he moved towards the exit (attempts to walk out are met with execution?), another prisoner sat down to block him, leant over and then drew a cross on the floor. Wondering if that fellow prisoner was a messenger from God, he resolved to endure his imprisonment and was eventually set free to bear witness to the world.

God makes life worth living. In difficult circumstances, keep our minds on Him =)

To a dear jock friend:

Don't really get this whole thing about treating games as matters of life and death, refusing to admit defeat despite getting trashed, counting trophies before they are won, and always claiming to be the best despite all evidence pointing towards the contrary.

There is no place in sports for the cynic, huh?

P.S. Hope i didn't offend any sports person.

Something adults do that pisses me off:

Sometimes they chastise us for 'being more fortunate'. It's like, it's a sin to have a roof over our heads, clothes to wear, and food to eat. It's a sin to have all our limbs intact, a complete home, an educational certificate...

So, you'll only be happy with me if i suffer?